Negative self-talk is toxic to the brain...I often hear from people who proclaim that they cannot make the changes that they would like to see in their lives. "I just can't do it", "I can't exercise that much", I can't stop eating______(fill in the blank)". "I will probably fail, so what's the use of trying."
We all have that inner voice that makes critical, negative, or punishing comments about ourselves that makes us feel defeated or hopeless. And most times, you think that you are being realistic about yourself. But this inner dialogue with yourself limits your ability to believe that you have the potential to achieve positive changes.
Research has found that excessive ruminations of negativity is linked to an increased risk of mental health problems, including depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, psychosis, and OCD.
Focusing on your negative thoughts and telling yourself that you "can't do it" will only lead to decreased motivation and helplessness.
This brings us to the science of neuroplasticity. The brain has a capacity to adapt and change over time by creating new neurons and building new networks, It has the capacity to be shaped, molded or altered. It can continue to grow and evolve in response to new experiences. But you can be in a "rut" because of your consistent negativity. This means that you have the capacity to change dysfunctional patterns of thinking.
If you think that you are in a "rut", maybe it is time to "plow". View your rut the same way you view the hard, dry, and unreceptive dirt that is not capable of growing anything. Replacing those bad habits with healthier habits, one day at a time (sometimes even one hour at a time) is what changes our brain and starts plowing up the hard rut.
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, states that behavior that is rewarded will be repeated. What is ONE unhealthy habit that you would like to change today? Speak those positive and affirming words to yourself because you are worth it.
Liz Fattore
Wellness Forum Health (the company that I represent) held our annual conference last weekend. One of my favorite speakers, fellow member and therapist is Kylea Rorabaugh, MA, PLPC. Her talk was titled "Finding Stillness in a World that Won't Stop." Stillness is essential for our mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical wellbeing.
If you are like me, you find it difficult to find stillness. We (especially women) find it necessary to continually overextend ourselves, as if it will earn us an award. We all need to focus on a day of rest. In Dan Buettner's research on the Seventh Day Adventists, he found that they all were committed to taking a day of rest. On average, they live 10 years longer than the average American.
How can we be intentional about taking that one day a week of rest, of finding intentional stillness?
Consider your "diet": What are you putting in your mind on a consistent basis? Did you know that the Poison Dart Frog is not actually poisonous? They eat deadly and poisonous insects, ingesting the poison so that they become poison themselves. Are you reading every news article, watching every news station? We can choose how much chaos to ingest and how much stillness to consume. Watch your mental diet. We still need to be aware of what is going on in the world, but not to consume all of the poison content.
Embrace boredom: If you are sitting around in a waiting room, or standing in a long line, be intentional, make eye contact, listen to conversations around you, smile, people watch, observe. By doing this, you are grabbing hold of your boredom, giving it the hug it deserves, and welcoming it to stand right next to you as an ally.
Put down the distractions: Is it possible that, as a society, we have a disturbing obsession with entertainment? And with the compelling draw toward action, speed, and extreme stimulation, could it be that the concept of stillness is so foreign that we will miss something? What if we miss listening, discovering, engaging? We allow the deafening sounds of the modern world to drown out the whispers of the things that really matter. If we don't put down our distractions, how will we ever know if we are missing something? What if we intentionally filled those moments with something purposeful instead of something mindless?
Find your dam: What if we slowed our pace, what if we stopped the hurriedness of our moments? It's easy to miss our dam, or to never discover and experience them in the first place. Sometimes the things that are the hardest for us to embrace are the very things that are most important for us to cling to. Do you have a dam? A place to go to be still, and savor, and rest, and laugh?
Rediscover delight: We miss simple delight in this day and age. What might it look like to rediscover delight in your life, now, in real time, as an adult? What would it be? Do you have any delight in your life? Norman Wirzba said "When you are in the throes of entertainment, are you generally thinking that you are having a good time? Do we settle for being amused?"
Disconnecting from traditional productivity: In our culture, busyness and productivity are worshipped. But sometimes productivity gets in the way of living our life to the fullest. Or sometimes we miss out on joy filled living. What we do in that stillness may differ. But it's not so much about what we do per se but rather about what it does in us.
Being still enough to stick like Velcro: Author and psychologist Rick Hansen puts it this way: "The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive experiences. In other words, the goodness of life has the tendency to slip away as opposed to the negative which clings to our mental framework. But if we are harried and hurried every moment of the day, it's awfully hard to acknowledge or grab hold of these things. What if stillness is the key to us taking the time to pause, acknowledge and embrace the goodness that surrounds us. And when we absorb all of that goodness, we reverse roles, and our goodness gets Velcro-ed and our difficulties get Teflon-ed.
The world won't ever stop, but we can: What would you add to your vision of stillness? Likewise, what would you remove from that space? Determine your environment and your mindset: where would your thoughts be situated? What would it take to implement a position of stillness with intent, consistency, and commitment? Long for stillness and embrace it. We can choose to stop. It's not so much about what you do in your stillness but rather what you allow the stillness to do within you.
Liz Fattore
Nurture Your Health
Licensed Food Over Medicine Professional
Wellness Forum Health
