A commonly cited reason for not following through on plans to change diet and exercise habits in order to improve health is lack of time. We all get it. Most people fill their waking hours with all sorts of activity, especially if you have children. It all comes down to how you prioritize your time and yourself.
Almost 100% of the time, the person who wants to eat right and exercise can arrange to do it if he is willing to make necessary changes. The problem is often twofold; resistance to change and a long-time habit of taking care of everyone else and everything else before taking care of self.
According to psychiatrist Dr. Peter Breggin, one of the many reasons people have difficulty in life is that they do not understand the difference between being unselfish and being selfless.
Most of us were taught as children to be unselfish and to help others – to share our toys with other children, to help mom clean up the living room so she does not have to do it all herself, or to let a visiting friend have the last piece of pizza. Good parents model this type of behavior for their kids. They prioritize family life and taking good care of their children and often make financial sacrifices in order for their kids to receive a good education, to take music lessons, or to have opportunities to travel. So far so good. Learning about giving to others and figuring out that the world does not revolve around us is a good thing.
But sometimes, and for a variety of reasons, the concept of unselfishness morphs into an entirely different thing – selflessness. This is not a good thing, and it often causes multiple problems, including failure to take good care of one’s health.
The selfless person almost always puts the needs of others first, and often at the expense of things like focusing on personal goals and self-care. The selfless person says things such as “I really want to be lean and healthy, and to reduce or eliminate some of my medications. But by the time I finish work, drive my kids to all of their sports activities, mow the lawn for my dad and the neighbor, and volunteer at the church, there is just no time for exercise. Actually, I can’t shop and cook either, which is why we eat out so much.” What this person is really saying is, “I’m so busy doing things for others that I cannot do the things I should do or want to do for myself.”
A near-compulsive focus on everyone and everything else is sometimes a way to avoid examining one’s own life, taking risks, learning new skills, and pursuing one’s own goals and dreams. There’s not much risk of failure or rejection in helping others, while there is in working toward building a great future.
The time of selfless behavior will ultimately come to an end when you postpone taking care of your health. One common consequence is a health challenge, sometimes quite serious. Decades of poor eating habits and lack of exercise can cause conditions like stroke, cancer, or disability.
Taking care of your health is not a selfish act. It means you value yourself as a human. It means that you want to model a healthy lifestyle for your family. It means you will have the energy to take care of your family and be of service to your church and community. We can eat well and exercise WHILE taking care of a family, being of service to others, and holding a job. This is done by doing two things; adopting an effective time management system and establishing a few boundaries in terms of commitments to others. Every situation is different, but there are solutions for almost all challenges in this area if an individual is committed to change and willing to consider options with an open mind.
If you are not achieving your health improvement goals, take a moment to consider why. There are probably a lot of reasons, but one of them may be that you are hyper-focused on everything but you and the things you should do for yourself. Decide today to do something about this BEFORE something bad happens. It’s much easier to prevent health catastrophes than to resolve them.
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